phoenica

I have...

2009-08-24T02:56:19Z

amazing friends in my life. While I know that I deserve them, I am not without humility and gratitude for their contributions to my life. And I don't say it nearly enough but here it is:

THANK YOU!

Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for loud and silent support. Thank you for the acceptance, encouragement, and advice. Thank you for sharing your talents, knowledge, and skills. Thank you for your critism, praise, and tolerance. Thank you for your strength, your generousity, your tenderness, and love.

Juls

chain email I got...

2009-04-02T14:12:34Z

I got the following in an email chain from a friend of mine...

(Whoever wrote this one deserves a HUGE pat on the back!)

Like a lot of folks in this Country, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I
pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In
order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with
which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the
distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine
test. Here is my Question. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine
test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it
for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people
get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem
with helping someone sitting on their rump--doing drugs, while I
work. Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people
had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? I guess
we could title that program, 'Urine or You're Out'.

Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if
you don't.

It got me thinking since I've experienced the various aspects at different times... I'd love to see/hear opinions on this...

Being out of shape... sucks!!!

2009-03-27T16:13:48Z

OK so I am fattest I have ever been... let's just say I'm about two of the high-school version of me... so having not gotten cast in a few shows, my family expressing serious concerns about my asthma and such... have motivated me to actually put myself first... time to deal with the proverbial elephant in the room...

Today as I huffed and puffed the last .25 mile home, I realized that that there was a time...

when I could dance anyone and everyone I know/knew under the table, (even silverhill and twistpeach would have cried uncle) I mean give me an hour of 80's music or 90's club music and I wouldn't have left the dance floor... even my drinks were within a foot of the dance floor and I actually went out to dance, not drink... ahhh the 2 am mornings... There was also a time when I could swim a mile in five minutes (I had lifeguard and WSI certs to prove it)- I had a healthy, graceful, and strong front crawl... I could do a half-mile sprint in about two minutes (again lifeguard and WSI certs attesting to it) and it would be a 13-15 mile bike ride before my legs acted like jello...

So I have now done this bike thing for five days straight... OMG the first day, I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance (thank god I don't have insurance- I decided I couldn't afford it)... the second day was signifcantly better so I pushed a little further day 3, and that was easier... so day 4... pushed a little more and today was status quo... BUT I do feel every muscle in my legs and I mean every muscle!

SO... eager to make this transformation happen, I have to remember baby steps... it took me 10 years to get here and I won't be able to undo it in days... but I have started... I guess there is an up side to unemployment... damn I wished I started this two months ago!!!

Hmmmm..... pilates?

Say... darthlara</lj> , danceswithsteps , I'm looking to add a line-dancing class and a salsa/tango class to my schedule... any leads?

And oh yeah... anyone for Retronome? And wej12</lj> I think I hear the wind of Base Camp calling us... thinking either your 35 or my 40... :-) I know a little blonde girl who said she's in if we go... I'll let her in on the secret in July when she comes to visit :-)

So I'm off to get ready for work, feeling pretty damn good about myself and the new possibilities life may just hold in store for me...

phoenica @ 2009-03-22T10:49:00

2009-03-22T16:21:58Z

Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate with you. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.

1. Shoes

I struggled with this and singing because they both serve dual purposes, and very similar at that. For my clarity, I had to separate the two in a way that I could explain clearly. The obvious purpose is entertainment. Shoes can be beautiful, functional, sensible, but they can just simply be fun! It's the variety that connects shows with their second pupose/function for me- shoes are an external expression of my self-reflection, that is how do I perceive myself. Am I confident/insecure? Pretty/non-descript? mature/youthful? Now, that said, we all know that my dexterity is directly linked to the height of the heel and given my recent knee issues functionality has dominated (and it's a little stifling!).

2. Laughter

This one I'm proud of. I'm delighted to be associated with laughter. I have such a damaged history that life has taken me to some really dark places. And one of the gifts I gave myself in my recovery was happiness. Happiness is a choice...negative feelings are great catalysts but like all catalysts too much can just, well, burn you. I've found that finding the humor and joy in the darkest of moments is what allows me to get through them... making them moments in my life and not my life.

3. Stress

Stress... hmmm... as a product of the 80's California culture, I associate stress with success. Also, being an over-achiever, procrastinator, and perfectionist... my stress is hugely self-imposed. I mean, I far more brutal on myself than anyone could ever be. Ironically, it I don't think I'm successful by any standards set in the 80's.

4. Care-taking

This one gives me mixed feelings- I'm defensive and then I'm accepting. I guess it's because I see the words "care-taking" as negative. I associate them with hen-pecking, smothering, and oppression, none of which I hope anyone associates with me! It's really not lip service for me when I say the best things in life aren't things... it is the people I know and care about. I use "things" as a tool to express the depth of my caring... someone recently asked me "Why I do such things?" when I got her a light fixture she needed from out-of-state or why I got everyone gifts at Christmas... I go overboard and I know it... but it's about not leaving anything undone or unsaid should something happen to me... I don't ever want the people I know and love to question how important they are to me...life is short and no one's tombstone ever read "Here lies a great employee," if I were to die tomorrow- I hope my legacy would be the generosity of my love. If that's care-taking oh well... I have boundaries so I don't see it as unhealthy... I just see it as a pure force of nature.

5. Singing

Singing... interestingly enough I have a history with singing... I sang my first solo at 5 years old in front a church congregation of about 200-300 people... and then I went into some sort of artistic black-hole... not singing again until high school- well, other than with the radio... eventually, I found my way back to the stage and found some of the confidence that five-year-old girl had. So singing is a great parallel in my life. So for me singing is entertaining but it's a tool to express my emotional well-being. The healthier and happier I am the more singing I do...

Great things come to those who wait...

2008-11-05T17:47:13Z

All I can say is if we had to endure 8 years of incompetent, destructive, and obtuse governing to witness and participate in a spectacularly hopeful, ambitious, inspiring, and all-embracing moment in history, it was worth it. I am not only proud to be an American, I'm grateful. Yes, I voted.

A- sorry I missed your gathering. You and K got an incredible anniversary present, wouldn't you say? See you Friday! And I too am looking forward to todays paper.

K-break a leg tomorrow!!!!!

Once again...

2008-08-21T03:16:46Z

Once again, I find myself pondering the possibilities of moving. As the cost of living continues to rise in Vermont, I must return to the harried and unsocial life of working two jobs. Some might take a indignant atitude and say "well if you weren't driving you gas-guzzling SUV..." I say yeah but the last year I didn't have it I missed 3 days of work, because I couldn't get out of my driveway AND I had to call AAA 3 times to come pull my car off the ice patch that my driveway had become. I realize life is about choices... and so again I ponder the choice to live in an expensive city/state...

I like much about my life. And it really isn't about the money- it's about being able to keep my head above water and enjoy life without choking as I open a $150 gas/electric bill or worst yet BOTH... utilities have about doubled in the last 7 years. Gas- well that's common knowledge...

OH well... I'll continue to think about it and when it's supposed to happen... it will.

a few of my non-favorite things...

2008-08-07T03:29:22Z

So tonight I get this phone call on my cell phone... goes like this..

"Everybody was kung fu fighting..." (look at phone 598-####)
me: (silent thought) hmmmm.... I don't recognize that number, it's only 7:45, guess I'll answer it...
me: (presses Send) Hello?
caller: Yes, this is Cassandra.
me: I'm sorry, who?
caller: Cassandra
me: I'm sorry who? (silence, line disconnects)

I call back and get voicemail... I choose not to leavea message... I gather this was a wrong number...

OK so no problem... I get it... we all mis-dial occassionally... here's the issue...

When did it become ok to just hang up when someone was talking to you? Especially someone YOU called?!?! Even in error? I mean, what ever happened to the polite, "oh I'm sorry. I dialed the wrong number."

Pet peeve #2... cyclist who act entitled because they're on bikes!

OK I get it... they're eco-conscious... they're health-concious... but I was taught (in an offical bike license class) that cyclist were expected to follow the rules of the road.... that includes signalling but more importantly STOPPING AT STOP SIGNS!!!!

Invariably as I drive off to work in the morning, I cross a few major cycling routes... and almost as often, find myself yeilding the right of way to a cyclist who is running a stop sign...hmmmm... let me see

bicycle with cyclist, 200lbs... maybe...
car with driver, at least 2000 lbs...

10:1 weight ratio- where's the healthy decision in that?!?!

ok done ranting... time to go make crank phone calls and drink froma styrofoam cup...

hmmm... technology..

2008-07-06T19:47:09Z

As I join the Facebook ranks, I'm a little concerned... I think we may be leaning into a too digital/electric society... I think it's a great tool to cover distances but I found that it seems to be the increasingly only method of communication between me and several of my friends... are we growing too busy to be social??? Must we rely on digital communications to even just say hi when we live only a few miles apart?

I appreciate that I can connect with family in the various parts of the country electronically. I also like the immediacy of the communication... but have we or are we trading intimacy for immediacy?

I'm also overwhelmed because I now have...

my personal email,
my non-profit email,
my professional email,
my livejournal,
my facebook,
my cell phone both verbal and text,
my house phone,
and my snail mail

to keep up with... in creating all these choices are we starting to forego quality? I mean does...

"c u l8r" or "lol" really evoke the same emotion as a hug and a wave with a "see you tomorrow" or the sound of a friend or loved one's laughter...

bottom line.. I guess as this long weekend concludes, I find that I miss so many of my friends... in what would have been prime time together.. a three-day weekend... I know everyone has lives but it seems to me that something's missing...

just rambling... hope the weekend was good to all and that all are doing well!

phoenica @ 2008-05-05T12:54:00

2008-05-05T17:00:10Z

First, don't read this if you have any intention of seeing Young Frankstein or MacBeth on Broadway. I don't have the LJ savvy to hide my comments and the descriptions so there will be spoilers. Sorry.

Ok so I went down this weekend to NYC. It was a long-awaited birthday present from my mother and step-father. My trips were becoming annual (went four years running until 2006). I have seen 42nd Street, Assassins, Spamalot, ...Spelling Bee, and Barefoot... with many talented performers and lots of anecdotes. Most trips have been with some combination of my friends, most often with

silverhill and wej12. This was my second trip with my mom though.

Anyways, we drove down. Slow goes with me and Mom- although she did get a speeding ticket on the way home (yes, the lead foot is genetic). Everything was fine until the 7-8 blocks we had to drive from the Lincoln Tunnel to our hotel which this trip was the Crown Plaza on Broadway between 48^th & 49^th, nice accommodations- not worth the money. First, I forgot that the City actually blocks off streets post-shows to encourage traffic flow and protect pedestrians- my best guess. Do you know the actual reason,

vtplayground or danceswithsteps? So we drove from 42^nd street to 51^st twice to get to the hotel valet parking. Also, Hell’s Kitchen has a flea market that apparently blocks access to the Lincoln Tunnel on Sundays so it was a roundabout journey…so next time if I drive, I’ll plan the arrival and departures better…

Sidebar: We did stop by the Saint James for those on that adventurous stay- MUCH improvement since we were there. The lobby is almost complete, two nice sitting areas with computer-access for the swipe of a credit card and a television,

beagley. Also, they’ve replaced the chain link gate at the bottom of the stairs with a nice double glass doors,vtplayground and danceswithsteps. The delis are still there and the rates for all are still very reasonable (although they had public access computers there beagley). The elevator that had questionable performance was officially labeled out-of-order though. Anyways, with the upgrades, I would stay there again sans the cot but with earplugs yoicksandaway and darthlara ;-)

Went to Angus McIndoe’s but didn’t stay long enough to catch anyone of name post-shows. Mostly because we were too tired to stick around.

We had originally bought tickets for Young Frankstein only- that was to be our show. Then as we meander around the City Saturday afternoon, we opted to get tickets to MacBeth. We didn’t make it to Sak’s but did stop off at Bodecelli- some really pretty shoes- I was well restrained and opted to not get any even though I could have had two pairs… just felt I could spend $325 better… I know everyone catch your breath- I said NO to shoes ;-)

As to the shows…

Absolutely LOVED Young Frankstein! The lighting effects and set were incredibly. The comedic timing of the cast was magnificient. The dancing was smart and sassy when necessary and delightfully simple vaudeville when appropriate. It was a treasure. Technically the show was superb- with only one obvious costume malfunction (I saw the prosthetic for the Eye-gor’s hump under his black cloak) and Meghan Mullally seemed a little cautious about the final wig. It was very much everything I expected from a Mel Brooks production. I could gush much more but because I was entertained I'd have to think about it more.

I did not, however, care for the opening of various food items throughout the opening number- they sold snack foods and bottle beverages as concessions. There were frequent foil-crinkling sounds and the hissing of carbonation from the drinks. Then, when we came back, the pretzel wrapper that I had found so distracting earlier was just laying on the floor in front of MY seat. My louder than whisper comment to my mom was- “hmmm… this isn’t a cheap movie theater with $8 dollar seats. I would this sort of facility would command a little more respect.” And this was a Saturday night performance. I can accept the casual dress because I think theater should be accessible to as many as possible but the blatant lack of respect for what is clearly a historic building just disappoints and grieves me. When I approached the House staff, one of the ushers told me that he felt it was because it was a conglomerate-owner theater versus a smaller private foundation. That the income from the concessions out-weighed the expenses to maintain the restored facilities. So, the ushers spend most of the time cleaning post-performances.

Moving on…

MacBeth… ahhh, I have a very different take than

silverhill’s post. I love Shakespeare… I love the language, I love complexities of character and the human fallibility… I love the subtle dynamics and the simply obvious… I love how unpretentious, unassuming, and accessible his writing is.

I agree with her- the cast built an incredible sense of urgency and immediacy. Unfortunately, what I found was that the breadth of the scene and character development ended there-not because of the script but because of the interpreation. This made the urgency hollow. The audience is waiting, holding its breath, anticipating what? For MacBeth! But, one of the purposes behind this scene is to establish MacBeth’s character as others see him. To set up him above reproach…and lay the foundation for the intense struggle that MacBeth feels at the contemplation of killing Duncan- he is loyal, valiant, and adored- conversely he adores his King…Duncan- THAT conflict is the motivation for his actions later and Lady MacBeth’s. The other is to establish the camaraderie of Duncan’s men- they are a united Scotland in a time of great strife until… MacBeth!

The setting was superb. The cold brick, sparse set pieces, and the rickety bay elevator were a great contemporary transition of castle- it very much related the same imagery and drew the same sensory effect. As to the gratuitous motives- it’s proven time and time again that Shakespeare is timeless- the comedies are easier to translate- changing the costumes and the sets is solely done for base entertainment value. The dramas are more complicated to translate, mostly because they are tied to historical figures and finding a connecting is, well, more complicated… I applaud this in this show.

I, also, agree Patrick Stewart was superb, as were Kate Fleetwood (Lady MacBeth) and two actors portraying the MacDuffs (although I found the “pause” for MacDuff’s “feel it like a man” monologue a bit too pregnant). Unfortunately, I feel that the three or four weak performances in the Ensemble made their tasks as actors more difficult.

I found the change for the witches effective but I found the overall interpretation of them to be inconsistent. The intermittent use of echoes was distracting from their dialog and their characterizations. Additionally, the inconsistent movement- from awkward stiff to impish sprite like- undermined their haunting instigations. I found the “rap” pacing of the spell was out-of-place (something more haunting and gypsy-esque would have been more in-line with the setting). I hated the interpretation of the porter- the whole speech and peeing in the sink- THAT was gratuitous! Taking a simple character and creating unnecessary complexities, defeats the contrast that character was written to create- it may be great acting but it’s poor direction.

Also, that song and dance to mask a set change was cheap. It was thinly related to the characters and the setting but ultimately just came off as a cover for a set-change. I was sorely disappointed.

The lighting and most of the effects did their job. Save the two commented on previously, they added to the production, not distracting from the performances. The blood and gore were completely on mark. The staging and strobed effect during the killing of the MacDuffs was an incredible balance between the scripted violence and artistic violence and what would be acceptable without a rating system.

The one word, however, I would sum up this production with is not riveting silverhill chose but “pretentious.” I am able to analyze any show and breakdown what I enjoyed and what I didn’t. My mother, though, didn’t enjoy the production at all and for me that marks the show as unsuccessful. Shakespeare wrote for the broad masses not exclusively for educated or elite. For me, the mark of truly well-done Shakespeare is the ability of the company to convey the story and the characters without tripping on the language. That is audience understands what each character is saying or doing and why without necessarily comprehending the language- it is a tall task. However, that is the mark of great work; it’s the mark of work that is timeless- Shakespeare.

Would I recommend the shows yes- Young Frankenstein to everyone; MacBeth to the theatrically aware/educated. I have since come to learn that the company that produced MacBeth tends to lean towards “high brow” productions… I guess I will have to think twice about what I see them do in the future.

I’m sad that I missed the IM assemblage-

yoicksandaway, the May Day bash- danceswithsteps, and all the Godspell mayhem. The weekend was absolutely worth it though.

Ok enough monolguing back to work.

Homecoming...

2007-09-26T01:59:32Z

So a good friend called me tonight to tell me her husband will be landing at BTV at 9:30 on Saturday with the returning 131st! Hopefully this is the beginning of the end of the war in the Middle East. It has been a long 18 months and we've been holding our breath.

Here's praying for the rest of our men and women to come home safe and sound. From my small scope of the world, five have gone... five have returned, and one has gone again... maybe a breif respite in the holding breath... until they're all back safe and on US soil. Thanks to those of you have been supportive through out this year... your support to me has translated as support to him and his family- you know who you are and thank you.

An exploration into the need for too many X-mas lights...

2007-08-26T16:35:14Z

So last during the course of general socializing darthlara, chaliceflaming, and I were chatting. Somehow the word "tacky" came up and a reference to a house having too many X-mas lights was used an example.... well, this led to a series of jokes... please add to the list as you think of them... we had fun and I told them I would be posting this... so now let's see what sort of wit is out there...

The "You might have too many X-mas lights if..."

(used last night)...

...they can see your house from space.
...the neighbors inform you you're getting you own transformer.
...the power company sends you a X-mas card.
... the air-traffic controllers tell places to turn left at your house.

Your turn...

phoenica @ 2007-07-08T11:29:00

2007-07-08T15:45:21Z

I recently was fortunate enough to be part of a production of Aaron Sorkin's A Few Good Men. Only I got to be part of team that was made up a few GREAT men and women. If I didn't say it enough... thank you!

Now I recently said this to a friend who corrected me and said "well I wouldn't say great..." to this I say "nonsense, you are GREEEEAAAAT"

My friends are GREAT because...

1. The are accepting! They take the good, the bad, the ugly (and sometimes the chocolate rainbow surprise ;-) ). What they don't like they most often just walk away from.

2. They are loving! They are generous with affection and compliments (even on bad hair days - and yes I do get them!).

3. They are humble! The critiques are often right and gentle! There are only a few well-deserved and opportune, I told you sos thrown around.

4. They are trustworthy! They keep the secrets that need keeping and they show up when needed!

5. They are patient- amen! They are patient!

But most of all they are great because they are mine and I would be lost without them!

To my friends, I love you, I'm grateful for each day with you, and thank you for blessing me with your grace :-)

Just felt a need to say it...

Go West Young Man...

2007-02-17T15:54:26Z

So I recently returned from a trip to San Diego that was the gamut of emotions. First, it was sad as the whole purpose of my trip was for my grandfather's funeral. But then, I was actually relieved for him- he had been so miserable for the last five years- since my grandmother passed. They would have celebrated their 65th anniversary this year! Not only that but I learned all this really cool family history... my grandfather was a "planker" for the USS Archer-fish- one of the original crew for the submarine during WWII and apparently the crew and ship are record holders in history- some variation of most ton-age sunk- something like most sunk by a single vessel... I also learned- according to family history that my great grandmother played at the Boston Conservatory! I'll have to really look into that one... sometimes my family exaggerates... although we did verify the WWII stuff!

It was great to see my Uncle George and his family again. They are some of the most amazing people I know. His kids are incredible- polite, loving, well-mannered, self-motivated, diligent- the kind of kids I hope I capable of raising if life presents the opportunity!!! I also got to spend a little time with my cousin. (oh for those of you who know the long story- this is my biological father's family) Chris and his wife Amy are cute and funny... at the Rosary and Eulogies, Chris actually made me and George laugh a couple times very disruptively... it was also decided that I have to speak at his funeral and give him a "Jul-ogy" (not a Jew-logy but still, A&D, you two would really appreciate his sense of humor!)... it really breaks my heart that I don't live closer to the two of them because through them I feel my grandparents' presence most- their love, compassion, and commitment to each-other and their family lives in the two of them!

But then there is my father- he is a force that just drains me of every ounce of patience and acceptance I have. He pushes me to the brink and this trip.... well, I haven't been that angry and impatient with someone I care about in a long time! The easiest and most polite way to sum our relationship is that he has the maturity and responsibility of a 16 year old! He is selfish and never accepts culpability- everything is always someone else's fault! And I just have a hard time with that...

So I have run away this weekend in an attempt to shield most from the mess that is me right now... I'm overwhelmed with sorrow, loss, frustration and anger. So I've said it, maybe I can face it, then maybe I can let it go...

Frustrated and being passively agressive...

2006-12-05T03:52:15Z

So I've been trying to sort through my feelings on my involvement with a recent production I was part of. And frankly, I'm drowning in a sea of negativity and hostility. I got this questionnaire, which I found to be vague, superficial, and dismissive. I mean, don't ask me if I thought the what I thought of the production's quality or what part was my favorite... ask me about specific area of production (publicity, make-up, costumes, lights); ask me about the production structure- did person XYZ lead his/her area in an organized fashion/was he/she available for questions regarding his/her area; ask me if my time at rehearsal/dress/performance was wasted or misused? And don't ask me to voice an opinion from a perspective I didn't participate in- audience... THESE questions I can answer with positive and constructive responses; these questions don't leave me feeling like the whip-master, insulting people who worked hard and just came up short... I don't want present problems without offering solutions but I need an appropriate forum to do so...

To compound matters, I got a second questionnaire on another production I was involved with... and again, I want to frame my responses in a clear, concise, and positive manner... again struggling to find the right words...

maybe I just shouldn't say anything on either one... I mean my opinion isn't law and someone else probably will say part if not all of what I'm thinking...hmmmmmm.... like I said I'm frustrated and being passively aggressive in posting here... because I know someone involved with either production is going to read this....

Ramblings of a lost mind... well maybe just over-committed... or should be committed...

2006-10-26T03:44:20Z

So this morning was rough... my coworker has had the radio tuned into an AM station so that he can listen to the World Series in the afternoon- no problem. I love baseball (would have been happier if my boys in Blue and Gray hadn't blown it but that's aside). So, I've been listening to some "easy-listening" music which I'm finding harder to listen to the Muzak (and as I said in an email earlier today- I don't care if it's misspelled; I didn't think I'd even ever have an occasion to USE it in written language- again tangent!). So what comes on the radio this morning.... the theme music from Hill Street Blues (for you too young to remember, that was a Emmy-winning police drama from the early 80's). Ok there is something just absolutely, positively WRONG about that!!! But to make matters worse, the same station had played Barry Manilow's American Bandstand about an hour earlier (yes, the theme to the show with the same name and hosted by the never-aging Dick Clark)... ok wait gets worse... yesterday theme from Love American Style.... now I'm sure NONE of you remember that because well, let's face it now we talking 70's! There was just something so mean and cruel about that... and then of course, the encore was Wind Beneath My Wings from Beaches and another movie song which I have now blocked from my memory... thanks for small miracles.... if I had found heaven in the Virgin Islands listening to 80's music, I have found H*** listening to 80's TV and movie theme music!

Then... this afternoon took a turn. I am in the early production stages of a production of Aaron Sorkin's A Few Good Men; and I had a talented actor agree to be in the show. I have been bouncing off the walls with excitement as the cast rounds out and the production holes get filled. I have the rights, scripts, looks like the hall, and many of the crew!!! The potential for this show is starting to come to fruition and I want to scream from the tops of buildings how lucky I feel!!! Here's hoping that I can get the rest of my desired talent in place soon! Watch for further discussions and promotions on this...

Nightmare... sent out the invite for parents and kids to come so they can make fun of me (I live to amuse and find life amusing in response). Here's a light commentary. I have this line that tonight I tripped over during some rehearsing with my scene's costar... line is '... filling laundry carts with severed limbs..." couldn't remember if it was carts, bins, dumpsters, or hampers... said, "... keep filling hamsters with..." still find it amusing... hamsters... then the dialog took a Dr. Seuss turn... it became... "laundry carts with body parts" and "laundry bins with severed limbs" OOOOOHHHHHH if I had thought of that sooner.... sorry J but the dialog would have turned into a very demented Cat in the Hat tribute... maybe next year I'll offer my over-zealous and sick ability to rhyme or use alliteration.......all the eccentric, enigmatic, elusive, and evil elocutions and enunciations I could engage in and exasperate with.... wait stopping... must not travel down that spiral staircase....

Ok with all that..."dum, do, dee, dum, dum, Good Night Sweetheart well it's time to go....dum, do, dee, dum, dum, good night sweetheart well it's time to go...."

Talk about old?!?!

2006-09-15T04:18:46Z

Ok so having read D's post, I felt a need to go and look up my birth year (which I had done before and knew some events off the top of my head) and my birth date in history so here are the things that I felt were worth mentioning- I'm sure there's more but this is a post not World History 101...

So in 1971..
-Paranoid was released.
-No, No, Nanette premiered at the 46th Street Theater.
-Walt Disney World opened in Florida.
-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was released in theaters.
-Johnny Cash wrote the Man In Black (exact date wasn't given).

-Jim Morrison was found dead in Paris.
-Louis Armstrong died from a heart attack.

-An LA jury found Charles Manson and his followers guilty of the Tate murders- supporting the death penalty.
-The Supreme court ruled that the NY Times could publish the Pentagon Papers.
-The Attica prisoners rioted.
-The 26th Amendment lowered the voting age to 18.
-Don't Make A Wave Committee change its name to Greenpeace.
-The Libertarian Party makes its debut along with NASDAQ.
-The Supreme Court supports the ruling that bussingstudents to achieve desegregation is ok.

-Lybia, Syria, and Egypt form a confederation.
-India and Pakistan waged to war for 8 days.
-Apollo 14 landed on the moon and returned.

and wait... Intel released the first microprocessor!

Now, the following people were born in 1971 with me and few great friends:
Jason Giambi
Kid Rock
Sean Astin
Ewan McGregor
Jeff Gordon
Lance Armstrong

But these people actually share(d) my birth date!
Dizzy Gillespie and wait (don't scream) Carrie Fisher

But here's a special note for certain friends...

On my birthday, in 2004, the Boston Red Sox defeat the New York Yankees 10-3 in Game 7 of the American League Championship Series, becoming the first team to successfully overcome a three games to none deficit...

ok enough gloating, reminiscing, and self-pitying....

Expansion of some thoughts...

2006-09-11T19:06:41Z

I have responded to many recent postings regarding the multitude of violent events and the inundation of 9-11 remembrance. Many of postings could easily be interpreted as callused or cold. This in itself has got me thinking....

Socially speaking, I feel the immediate nature of media today lends itself to an almost intimate level. With the stories being played out in real time, in every home or work, its natural to relate them to daily life. I take issue with the over-personalization of events. mean, think about it almost anyone alive during Kennedy's assassination could tell you where he/she was when he/she heard the news... likewise for Reagan's, the Shuttle explosions, 9-11, Katrina destroying New Orleans...why, because the radio and television put us there on that day.

The up side, it promptly unifies us as a nation, brings us into an awareness and helps motivate us into action and participation in the resolution. It encourages us to use our individual voices and invoke the changes the majority see fit. This is exactly what our forefathers fought and died for- a nation of voices given EQUAL OPPORTUNITY. This is great when people are given FACTS, allowed to make educated independent and LEGAL decisions in choosing a course of action.

The down side, over-personalization and the opportunity for false or incomplete information. Everyone is entitled to their feelings and MINE are that in over-personalizing events, there is a tendency to diminish the impact of those intimately involved. To presume that I know how the wife, child, or parent of someone lost on 9-11 felt or feels or "understand" what he/she has had to endure since then is wrong. If I didn't do it, I can only imagine... I can try to relate... I can empathize with loss but I can not nor can anyone else who has not experienced the equivalent measure loss in an equal term. Likewise, not knowing the teachers who were killed in Essex- I can't appreciate what was lost because I didn't know what gifts those individuals took with them- I KNOW they took gifts... children lost an educator, colleagues lost a friend... but to personalize their loss would selfish on my part.

I feel my role in these events is to support those immediately affected; support their choices but using my distance to temper the outcome into a result that doesn't cost more life or loss... so the nutshell of this soap-box, over-personalizing an event can distort the course of action- like certain races losing their personal liberties.

I encourage supporting each other, using outrage to voice an opinion, but I also encourage keeping perspective... otherwise, everything becomes personal...

enough soap-box....

Random collage of thoughts....

2006-09-11T03:47:43Z

Cats... I love my cats. I miss my last cat- there will never be another Shelly! My Diana and Shelby are quite the characters and I admire their individuality.

9-11... as we sit on the eve of the 5th anniversary I shake my head in disgust. (1) We should be remembering the tragedy with the same level of remorse and reverence each year not just benchmarks; (2) the inundation of the "remembrance" by the media... I have not seen this level of coverage since the event 5 years ago. In one of the interviews with a handful of the rescuers, one of them said that they had dubbed themselves "heroes to zeroes" this just reinforces the hypocrisy of our society/government/people- these men and women deserve consistent respect and consideration- not just when it's convenient to drag them out onto a stage like a motivational trophy... I'm just utterly disgusted.

auditions... I auditioned for a production I've been reluctant to participate in... I did, amused a wonderful group of people and got a part... will be interesting to see how this develops.

Violence in Vermont... as some of my friends sit dismayed by the recent flurry of local scandal and violence, I am reminded of a couple of events from when I first moved to Vermont seven years ago... that year, three people were shot in the first few weeks of hunting season- all turned out to be intentional or "heat of the moment" killings. I remember not feeling safe in my own yard because of an article I read regarding hunting and lack of reasonable distant between some hunting zones and commonly populated areas. I also remember thinking- "my god THAT person is allowed to carry a firearm!" When you kill someone on a dare...

Enough random thoughts...

blah...blah...blah... self-pity slip...

2006-09-04T04:33:26Z

So I'm feeling a little blah and I can't quite figure out why other than I'm getting older. As I have said on a few occasions, I won't have a mid-life crisis, I have mid-decade crises. And this has been re-enforced by the recent casting of a show I auditioned for. The show was cast on the younger side and that put me at an awkward age- too old for some roles, too young for others...

I'm not complaining because I wasn't hoping-against-hope that I'd be in the show- I've already done it and was only looking to get back on-stage as opposed to behind it... I wanted something to show for my efforts something noticeably me/mine.

In my own head, I hearing the broken record loop that I have no spouse, no children, your job is trivial, and your volunteer work is dispensable to the world at large... I want to leave a legacy, something that people will remember as my gift and I'm feeling pretty lost right now as the calendar turns over another month on a another year of my life...

Well, enough self-pity for the year... time to move-on.

(please don't respond to this post- I posted it public as a humanizing thing, not fishing for compliments or feedback. thank you)

Absently aiming for an abundance of aliteration...

2006-08-31T02:21:21Z

Absently aspiring for an abundance of aimless alliteration.
Brass and bawdy blather, basically boastful bunch of bull.
Conceit and criticism convenient components of this commentary.
Deliberate and disdainful, definitely.
Eager to extinguish this excessive effluence of escapism.
Frivolous not frugal, fatuous folderol but a fun, fervent and fluid fetish.
Gripping and grotesque, groundless grandiloquence.
Humble hullabaloo, hopefully.
Indulging an inspiration of insipid intellectualism, indubitably.
Just a jocular joust of jabber.
Kneaded ken knotting kindred.
Lauding lyrical, lasting, and lancinating language, likely a lucid legation.
Maniacal, most magnanimously mind-boggling, maybe.
Noted nonsense, narcissistic navigation of nebulous notions.
Otiose ostentatious oration, an orgy of opportune originality.
Purpose and point are peripheral, punning and poetry a plus.
Quite quirky and quixotic, a quagmire of quips.
Rake ranting, a ratification of rank ratiocination.
Suppressing slighting some; sometimes succumbing to self-simplification.
Tenacious not timid testimonial to theatrics and text.
Undulating but united utterances.
Versatile vivid versification and verbosity.
Well, a wistful and warped wanton with waggish wafting wording.
X-ed and Xcluded... too Xasperating...
Yielding yak.
Zealous zenith.

Loud and proud...

2006-08-25T17:02:56Z

Having said it in a couple places, I'm going to say it briefly in my own post...

I live in Vermont. I'm proud to live in Vermont. I enjoy my life in Vermont but most of all, I am proud of and enjoy the wonderful, talented, intelligent, and generous people Vermont has given to me in my life. I am grateful for everything I have today in Vermont.

Now, that said... I love and admire the people in my life and am truly glad that you are safe today and if you're reading this then you must be one of them :-)

Music help...

2006-08-23T10:14:10Z

So I'm looking for a great music search engine. I need a site that is going to provide me with numerous results on lyric searches... not one that is going to list the same three for four songs or the same artist 30 times... anyone got a lead?

And hopefully it will lists artist I recognize too...

I'm a nerd...now?

2006-08-21T22:33:52Z

Having been recently dubbed a nerd because I started a live-journal... I felt the need to share a few possibly unknown/unpublished J-facts...

1. I was learning to program in BASIC while more than half of my friends were learning their ABCs.
2. I have owned (well, my father owned, I used them)- when they were "new"- an Intelivision, Atari 400, Atari 800, Apple II , Apple IIe, Apple IIc. I currently own a (and the loud gasps from the aforementioned friends can be heard echoing through NE) a Dell.
3. I was an avid player of Tron, Pac-Man, Space Invaders, Centipede (damn good at this!!), and Donkey Kong and later on King's Quest; hated and was lousy at Asteroids, Joust, and another space game whose name eludes me.
4. I was once thrown off a message board because a friend & I pissed off the Sysop.
5. I know how to spin and toss (and catch for those wise-***es I know) a flag and a rifle, learning these talents in Marching Band/Color Guard/Dance Team.
6. I know what a sousaphone is and how it differs from a tuba.
7. Somewhere in the state of Maine is a video record of my only public display of solo-mud-wrestling... in a white color guard uniform (sorry they were thick polyester so it was good for a laugh nothing else).
8. I took, count 'em, 4 years of Latin, 1 year of Ancient Greek in high school being only one of TWO students in both.
9. I know what a Beholder, DM, and Wandering Damage are and how the second uses the latter to keep players focused.
10. I know that you never want to hear a Half-Ogre says "oops" as it usually means he /she has fumbled with his/her battle-axe.
11. I know the difference between melee and missile.
12. I don't know as much Star Wars trivia as the same aforementioned friends but I can pretty confidently say that I am one of the only ones (if not the only one) to actually have seen all six in the theater opening week if not opening weekend!
13. I can costume and make-up myself for any decade between 1940 and today from the clothes in my closet, including shoes!
14. I currently own 67 pairs of shoes, flip-flops/sandals, and boots (ok that one is public knowledge).
15. My first concert was the Stray Cats; my favorite was the Hooters (the band not the skimpy-clad women from the bar) and Brian Adams; and I saw NKOB twice.
16. My CD collection is almost equal parts musicals and mainstream.
17. Most of my DVDs are still sealed in their retail packaging but I watch Jaws (one or two-only) anytime I catch it on television.
18. At one point, the cat-human ratio in my home was 2.5:1 (to give you perspective there were 11 people living in the house).
19. I still own a Donnie and Marie album and the original Musketeers and the second casting (this was before Britney could even carry a tune!).
20. For nearly three years leading into jr.high, the only music I cared to listen to was the GoGos.
21. I chose not to follow the career paths of either a veterinarian or professional piano player.
22. My family is so extended and distorted that I have to offer people a choice when they ask me about parents or siblings...

So what can you conclude from all these obscure comments... I have always been a nerd, geek, freak, odd-ball, eclectic, or just plain unusual...

New thoughts on LJ...

2006-08-20T18:07:39Z

So I've determined that there are three predominant thoughts on why I have been to reticent to get a live journal...

1. All of my friends will find out how truly boring and simple I am. I mean, when you try to lead a whirlwind life of over-commitment and zealous participation in all that you do, there at least is an opportunity for the self-deluding illusion that you are a successful, exciting, intelligent, and accomplished person. Actually writing down my thoughts or the days events deflate all that- at least in my mind and for myself. I mean, ask me to write a logical, argumentative, legal or mathematical paper sure it's facts and statistics... ask me to make me sound jocular, suave, or exciting- forget it. I'm just me and the live-person can act, the paper person- well... enough said.

2. I never do anything in moderation. It's all or nothing! Either I commit to something and give it everything I've got or forget it. So, my greatest fear, I'll spend the next year of my life tethered to this PC.l

3. Personal experience has taught me email and the written word are objective. I have little influence on the tone the person reading this is going to receive it in. So what I might say in a matter-of-fact tone (accepting and unemotional), another might read as self-deprecating, depressive, or the converse (egotistical).

The written word is such a powerful tool. And wielding it is a honed talent! The written word has the ability to evoke emotion without conveying, because it is intended to make the reader think for themselves...

Well, enough ramblings from my over-analytic and simplistic mind.

Shopping? Did someone say shoppping?

2006-08-19T23:43:49Z

Ok so I did something today I haven't done since I worked there and before that, high school (Christmas shopping doesn't count!) - I spent almost an entire day at the Mall. This alarms me on so many levels...

1. I can no longer spend $200 on clothes and be done- I now spend that on shoes alone!
2. I no longer enjoy the $20 costume jewelry from one of the trendy chains, I desire the $200 sparklies from the REAL, non-chain, jeweler.
3. I spend $100 on make-up and hair care...there are no $15 haircuts, only $40 with tip! And the $1/bottle shampoo well maybe if my brand sold it in Barbie-size bottles.
4. And now, I can actually appreciate a full manicure and pedicure (almost sleeping the chair from relaxing)!

Now, no one told me that when I grew up that the value of a $1 would be so much more but buy so much less. It's not that I have expensive tastes - I am actually much happier with 40 pairs of shoes for $300 than 1 pair for $800 (and oh I have been to The 5th floor on 5th Ave- Saks in NYC that is- and witnessed The Prada). In fact, when I was the in the shoe store today, I commented that "when you have 80 pairs of shoes at home, it's time to leave the shoe store." I guess I have just learned when to say when...

And I suppose leaving with several hundreds of dollars worth of jewelry repair and custom work was enough! SO I say, one addiction at a time, one addiction at a time.